


Doppler doppelganger

by SonicGavel



Series: Barisi forever after [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: AU, M/M, Post Undiscovered Country, Raf eventually hears about it, So does Eames, Sonny moves on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14004132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicGavel/pseuds/SonicGavel
Summary: Because Rafael never did see Sonny one last time, he bumps into Aria who pretty much sets him up on a date with her cousin. Her black sheep cousin who just got out of prison and is pretty much starting over now his alternate identity's been subdued.





	1. After Rafael

Sonny sulked for days at Forlini's. He'd come in when no one else was there and sit next to Raf's now vacant seat. He'd order a beer and a scotch and he'd wish Raf would be sitting next to him chatting him up like they used to. This went on even after Peter took his seat. The bartender knew his thing. Peter on the other hand, didn't.

So when Peter started frequenting Forlini's more often, Sonny'd just end up going home and crying himself to sleep. Sonny did so for months, even after his niece's rapist went away. Then one day, he bumped into someone he didn't think he'd see again.

"Sonny." Aria chirped.

"Oh, Aria. Hi. What's up?" Sonny chimed in as he exchanged awkward pleasantries.

"Oh nothing much. Hey, I heard about your ADA. I'm so sorry." Aria said, making Sonny's heart hurt.

"Me too. I really liked him." Sonny sighed as he buckled in for yet another night of crying himself to sleep.

"Hey wait, if you're still single, I think I know someone you should hang out with." Aria said as she wrote down a number.

"I don't know, Aria. I'm not into anyone right now." Sonny said.

"Relax, Kevin's really sweet. But he was in jail for attempting to frame a detective for the murder of that TV personality, Bo Burnham?" Aria explained. "He's dealing with his actions but he's doing good. Just give him a call." Aria said as she took her groceries to her apartment and Sonny was left here with the number. He studied the number for a good five minutes.

"I'm tired of being alone." Sonny said as he walked back into his apartment and called the number.

"Hello?" The person that owned the number asked. He sounded like Rafael so much that Sonny even asked.

"Rafael?" Sonny was confused.

"Who's Rafael? I'm Kevin Mulrooney." Kevin corrected as Sonny paled.

"I'm sorry, you just sound like an ADA I just lost. I'm Dominick Carisi." Sonny rubbed his face.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint. Wait, Dominick. You're that cop my cousin used to talk about when I was in prison." Kevin said. "Aria gave you my number just now, didn't she? God damn it." Kevin groaned into his phone.

"Hey I'm sorry if I'm intruding on your evening. But she wanted me to ask you out or something. What's a good night for you?" Sonny asked.

"I'm pretty much free until I get a job again, which is hard due to my being an ex-con. How's tomorrow night?" Kevin asked.

"Tomorrow night's good. Know any good haunts?" Sonny asked.

"I know a place in Staten Island." Kevin said, making Sonny smirk.

"Perfect. Hope to meet you soon." Sonny said as he said his goodbyes and started thinking about his first date in years. A step he hoped he'd take with Raf, but he wasn't thinking about that now.


	2. The first meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet at the bar Kevin chose.

Sonny finished work early as Liv and Amanda watched in awe.

"You haven't been this cheery since the day you did your thing in Liv's office." Amanda said as Liv remembered Sonny's line about the world hating lawyers.

"I got a date tonight." Sonny said.

"How?" Liv asked.

"With who?" Amanda asked.

"You remember Aria?" Sonny asked.

"Miss Raw Foods? Don't tell me you're going on another date with her." Amanda groaned.

"No, nothing like that. She as it turns out has a cousin who used to be in jail. She gave me his number last night and we hit it off over the phone. I'm going to a Staten Island bar he chose tonight. And I'm almost late." Sonny said as he bid the two ladies farewell.

Sonny made it in the nick of time. He made sure he was well dressed and looked for Kevin. He said he'd be wearing a pink checkered button-up and a pair of jeans. Once he spotted what looked like him, he was completely confused because he looked just like Rafael.

"You must be Dominick. I'm Kevin." Kevin said as he offered Sonny his hand.

"Nice to meet you." Sonny said as he took it. They shook hands and then Sonny sat right next to him.

"What'll it be for you?" The bartender asked.

"Two beers please." Sonny asked.

"Actually, I like white wine." Kevin said.

"Alright, one beer and one white wine." Sonny said as he offered to pay.

"White wine, huh?" Sonny asked as he turned to his date.

"I never stood the hard stuff." Kevin said. "When I was in therapy to get rid of Gabby, that was just something I wouldn't let go of."

"Gabby?" Sonny was confused.

"I had a female alter ego, Gabrielle Roth. She hid in my emotions and pretty much took over my ID when I lost my mom nineteen years ago." Kevin took a pause when his wine arrived and he took a swig.

"I can't tell you how hard it must be to lose your mom. I still have a full set of parents." Sonny said as he found himself touching Kevin's hand. "But I know that I'd be depressed if I lost her. How did she die?"

"Cancer. Have you lost anyone like that?" Kevin asked.

"Fortunately, for my family's sake, no. But I sympathize with you." Sonny looked into his eyes and noticed how sad they looked. Kevin took Sonny's hand in his and squeezed it. He took that gesture and just changed the subject.

"So Aria says you studied law?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, went to Fordham at night between that and working at SVU." Sonny smiled as Kevin did the same.

"Really. How nice. I used to be an ADA." Kevin said.

"No kidding. I think Aria brought that up briefly." Sonny stated.

"Yeah, the Bo Burnham case wasn't the highlight of my career. But that's another story for another time. Would you like to come home with me?" Kevin asked.

"Isn't it a little early in the relationship?" Sonny answered.

"Alright, how about the next time I'm in Manhattan?" Kevin asked.

"I'll cook." Sonny said.

"I like men who can cook." Kevin said as he kissed Sonny on the mouth and sauntered off out of the bar. Sonny smiled at the sensation and just went off home to his apartment before it got too dark.


	3. Who's Rafael again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny introduces Kevin to the team and there's a mix of worry, fear and confusion.

Sonny and Kevin hung out when they could. Sonny took Kevin to his favorite haunt but never passed through Forlini's, some days he would even go to dinners at little restaurants he always wanted to take Rafael. But the best part was when he cooked for him. Kevin liked every bite made.

"You really can cook." Kevin said as he wiped his mouth after a gorgeous chicken piccata Sonny had taken all morning to cook.

"Aw, I try. I mean my mom taught me but I pretty much did my best to put my own spin on each meal she taught me." Sonny said, trying to look and sound humble.

"Still, I don't know where I could find a person who'd make something as delicious as that chicken piccata." Kevin praised as Sonny blushed. They looked into each other's eyes and Kevin stroked Sonny's cheek. "You're very handsome too." Sonny blushed again and feeling like he was in a trance, leaned in and kissed Kevin. His lips were softer than the first time they'd kissed at Kevin's meeting point. They both felt sparks fly as Kevin deepened the kiss and then stopped altogether as if he forgot something.

"I have an Irish creme cake chilling in the fridge. Are you still hungry or do you wanna wait." Sonny asked.

"Really, Dominick, right now, I just want to focus on you." Kevin said as he led Sonny to the couch and instigated a make-out session that turned into Kevin staying the night.  
......................................................................  
A few days later, Sonny was sitting at his desk. He was whistling and just filling out reports on his desk. Amanda thought he was one of those pod people.

"So who wants to attack him like he's Kenneth in that episode of 30 Rock where Jenna and Tracey are tired of him telling them his life story?" Amanda asked. Sonny would've countered with an "I heard that" if Kevin didn't walk in.

"Dominick." Kevin chimed as Sonny looked up and smiled.

"Hey, I thought you had interviews to do." Sonny said as he embraced Kevin.

"He cleans up nice after an acquittal." Amanda mumbled. "Uh, Sonny? I thought you were going out with Aria's cousin." Amanda continued, confused.

"I'm sorry. Amanda Rollins, I'd like you to meet Kevin Mulrooney. Kevin, this is my partner, Amanda Rollins." Sonny introduced.

"That's not Rafael?" Amanda asked.

"No." Sonny said.

"You never said who this Rafael is." Kevin said.

"He used to work for the DA's office but then he pulled the plug on a dying baby about a month ago, which he was acquitted for, but his career as an ADA was pretty much dashed after. He never said anything to me before his departure and so I've been sulking ever since until you came into my life. Thank Aria." Sonny said.

"They were pretty close, but not as close as he was with our lieutenant. But they were and probably are still, just friends." Amanda added. Suddenly, Liv came out of her office while on the phone with a seemingly private call when she almost dropped her phone at the sight of Kevin.

"I gotta go, bye." Liv said as she went over to see what's going on.

"Lieu, this is my new boyfriend, Kevin Mulrooney. Kevin, my lieutenant, Olivia Benson." Sonny introduced.

"Dominick's told me a lot about you. I hear you've had a run-in or two with an old acquaintance, Alex Eames. How is she and her partner, Goren, doing?" Kevin asked in earnest.

"They're not partners anymore." Liv said, still catching her breath.

"Shame. If Gabby didn't get in the way, I'd have thought they had better chemistry than she ever did with me. Oh well. I was just asking Dominick if we could go out to lunch but if things are busy, then I can come by some other time." Kevin said as he was turning to leave.

"No, go ahead. Seems like it's a slow day and we could use less people right now. Go ahead, take Dominick here to lunch. Have a good time." Liv said as they departed but not before kissing in front of Amanda. Meanwhile, Liv had so many questions.

"Hey, this is Lieutenant Olivia Benson with Special Victims, can I talk to Alexandra Eames? It's kind of a strange situation." She told the dispatch as she looked at a picture of her and Raf at a birthday party they threw for Sonny a while back.

She was worried for Sonny's sanity and Raf was the core cause of that worry.


	4. The briefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex comes by and briefs Liv with everything.

"So here's Kevin's file and Bobby will be coming shortly with everything else." Alex said just as the devil walked in.

"The evidence boxes from the Bo Burnham murder trial and Kevin's. Just set them on the table?" Goren asked.

"That'd be good, Bobby. Robert Goren, Olivia Benson. Liv, this is my ex-partner, Bobby." Alex introduced.

"Alex told me a lot about you." Robert said.

"It's nice to meet you too." Liv said.

"Okay so Kevin and I met when we worked the disappearance and possible murder of Bo Burnham's first wife. I found a letter that turned out to be forged by Kevin under the alter ego of Gabrielle Roth." Alex began but in true Goren and Eames style fashion, they tagteamed.

"I was the one who over a decade later, figured out it was Kevin because I compared the paper that was on the desk of Burnham's wife's study to the paper Kevin used to forge the letter. It was on paper that can be received in a certain part of Ireland, which Kevin's mother had and still has relatives in. After Kevin's mother died, his strength was transferred into the Gabrielle persona." Robert said.

"Kevin and I almost had something before the trial began. He was sweet, listened to all of my problems, he also comforted me because I'd lost my husband a while back. But the stress of the trial and a build-up of reports, nothing happened. And it"s a good thing it didn't." Alex added.

"Especially because of the letter. He sabotaged his own career to sabotage hers. He was nuts." Robert said.

"Then he murdered Burnham on his birthday. Got him alone due to some crazy circumstances involving his friends." Alex chimed.

"And then he castrated him. Took his penis off too." Robert added.

"All while he was Gabrielle." They finished in unison.

"Wow." Liv said. Suddenly, Sonny came in looking for Liv.

"That Carisi now?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, just let me talk to him." Liv said as she went out of the interrogation room.

"Lieu, hey. Where is everyone?" Sonny asked.

"Amanda had to take Jessie to the doctor to get a booster shot and Fin took a personal day to go tux shopping with Ken for his and Alejandro's wedding. Speaking of which, you still checking your RSVP as Plus one?" Liv asked.

"I am. And I plan to take Kevin. Why?" Sonny looked at Liv puzzled.

"Oh no reason. Hey, you should go tux shopping. Here's the address Fin and Ken are, go find them. For a discount, Fin's paying for all the NYPD tuxes. Just use his last name." Liv said as she rushed him out the door. She breathed a sigh of relief and went back to the interrogation room where she caught Alex and Robert kissing.

"Ahem." Liv said amused as they stopped, cleared their throats and fixed themselves up.

"Right, sorry. It'd been forever since we had a moment like we did earlier." Alex said as she and Robert lightly giggled.

"I really missed her." Robert said.

"I can see that." Liv said as she smiled.

"So why do you need so much information about Mulrooney?" Alex asked. It was then that Liv pulled out her phone and Alex and Robert looked at a picture of Rafael.

"Kevin sure changed." Alex said.

"That's not Kevin. That's my best friend, Rafael Barba. They look alike, yes." Liv said.

"Is that Carisi behind him?" Alex asked.

"Yep." Liv said.

"Mike Logan was with Major Crimes for a while, I'm sure he'd have a story about this diamond thief he used to tell us about. Apparently used to tweak a bit." Robert explained.

"Why bring him up?" Liv asked.

"Logan's description of the tweaker, Johnny Feist, was it?" Alex asked Robert as he nodded. "Logan's description of Feist matches Carisi's." Alex explained.

"Ah. Well in the meantime, this interrogation room's sealed and only the three of us go in this room. I'm sure this'll be a lot to pick up." Liv said as they nodded.

"By the way does your friend, Barba, know this is going on? Because you probably should tell him." Alex said as she and Robert walked out and linked their hands together. Liv smiled and immediately started dialing a very familiar number.


	5. The freak-out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv has to tell Rafael. You can imagine how he takes it.

Liv decided lunch at an old haunt would be ths best place. But then Peter showed up.

"Liv. Waiting for a friend?" Peter asked.

"Stone. You mind sitting somewhere else today? Said friend sits in this spot." Liv warned.

"What're you meeting Barba about? Or are you reliving old times?" Peter asked.

"Just sit somewhere new please." Liv begged as he did so and just as he did, in breezed Rafael like he hadn't been charged with pulling the plug on an infant. He was all smiles as Liv wanted to talk about his relationship with Sonny.

"Liv, you don't seem cheery." Rafael said as he greeted her.

"You seem a little too." Liv said. "Two scotches, please." She ordered.

"You say you wanted to talk about Sonny?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah. You remember when you never told Sonny you were leaving and you pretty much abandoned him?" Liv asked.

"What, did Stone steal him from me?" Rafael joked.

"I thought Carisi was with that Kevin guy." Peter said, sending Raf into a bulgy-eyed state.

"WHAT?!" Raf screamed almost.

"Thanks, Peter." Liv sent a death glare and Peter gulped.

"Oh look at the time. I gotta go call my mom to tell her I'm bringing a Boston creme pie for dessert come Sunday night." Peter ran out faster than Road Runner after hatching the baby runner bomb.

"Rafa, I was trying to ease into it, but what do you expect when you never made any contact with him? Sonny has moved on. But that's not why I called you here." Liv said as she gave Raf a picture of Sonny and Kevin.

"The new guy looks just like me. What have I done?" Rafael squawked as he slammed his head on the table hard. At this point, he felt like he was on The Twilight Zone.

"Listen, this is why I called. Perhaps you can break him out of this. Ken and Alejandro are getting married in three weeks time. Sonny plans to take Kevin but you can try and talk to him." Liv explained.

"What, you want me to be your plus one?" Rafael scoffed as he took a sip of his newly poured scotch.

"You want to try and ambush Sonny?" Liv asked. Raf just looked at her, but then started taking a page from "Nothing" by The Script.  
....................................................................  
Meanwhile, at Sonny's apartment, Sonny was making a romantic meal for himself and Kevin.

"The clam sauce takes time to cook down the white wine. Speaking of, would you like another quarter glass?" He offered to Kevin.

"No, I'm good until dinner." Kevin said as he sat his glass down and Sonny sat next to the couch. "So I got good news."

"Oh?" Sonny asked.

"I got a job at a mailroom." Kevin smiled.

"Congratulations, what mailroom?" Sonny asked.

"NYPD. They said that as long as I don't let the pressure go to my head, I should be a good fit. I don't know if we'll cross paths much at SVU but we'll still get to see each other on nights like this though, right?" Kevin assured as Sonny agreed with a head nod.

"I should check on the clam sauce." Sonny said as he smiled. Low and behold, it was done and after a hearty meal full of more conversation and comfortable silence, they put up and retired back to the sofa.

"I enjoy how easy it is to be with you." Kevin said. "I mean no one's ever been as nice to me as you were after my whole episode. Not counting family of course. I mean I even love Aria as a sister, but it's hard to tell even the strangest things I've been through to family let alone strangers." Kevin held Sonny's hand.

"I know how you mean. At first your family's nice about everything, but then they think it's a phase or worse. But you know what? You need outside forces telling you you'll pull through with or without your family." Sonny said understandingly.

"Dominick, I think I'm falling in love with you." Kevin said with a blush.

"I think I'm falling for you." Sonny blushed back. They started going in for a kiss before Sonny stopped Kevin.

"Hey, there's a wedding I've been invited to. It's my sargeant's son and his boyfriend. Would you like to be my plus one?" Sonny asked.

"Yes." Kevin said as he crashed his mouth onto Sonny's and they kissed for a good five or ten minutes when he heard hard rapping on the door.

"I gotta get that door, but I'll be right back to finish this moment between us." Sonny said as Kevin took off his sweater. When he answered the door, the color went away from his face and he started to shake.

"Hello, Sonny." Rafael said as he gave a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shocked that I can be that evil or ballsy to make a cliffhanger like this?


	6. Heal over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up where we left off, Raf shows up at Sonny's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut coming.

"Hello, Sonny." Rafael said as he gave a small smile.

"Get out of here, Rafael. What are you doing here anyway?" Sonny asked.

"Liv told me you moved on. Look, we need to talk." Rafael said.

"We're done talking. We've been WAY past that since you left me high and dry that day you resigned as ADA of Manhattan SVU." Sonny growled.

"Dominick? Is everything okay?" Kevin called out.

"I'll explain in a minute. Why don't you pour a glass of white for yourself and I'll be right there. I'm almost done." Sonny said as Kevin smiled as he said that. He only did a small sip though, if he was to go to bed again with Sonny, he didn't want to be anywhere near lousy stinking drunk.

"I didn't realize you were on a date." Rafael said, shocked.

"Well that's what grown people do, Counselor. They go on dates, they socialize with their friends, they call to make sure their friends are okay. You know, TALK!" Sonny outright exploded and Kevin went to check on him.

"Dominick, darling. What's wro-oh. I see." Kevin immediately knew what was wrong the second he saw Rafael in the door jamb.

"Kevin, this is our former ADA, Rafael Barba. Counselor, this is Kevin Mulrooney. My boyfriend." Sonny gave Rafael the death glare as he just looked at how alike they look.

"Ah, so you're the Rafael who hurt my Dominick." Kevin said as he crossed his arms.

"I didn't even know he liked me." Rafael said, almost red in the face. "Liv's told me all about you, Gabby." Kevin took umbridge in that name and Sonny was just about done.

"That's it, Raf. Get out. Get out and stay as far away as possible." Sonny shoved him out of the jamb and slammed the door in his face. Sonny then rubbed his own face then went to comfort Kevin.

"I'm so sorry. That went on too long." Sonny groaned.

"No, it's not your fault." Kevin kissed Sonny's cheek. "Raf's just jealous that he didn't nab you when he had the chance." Kevin stroked his hair as both men trembled at what had happened and Kevin started pulling Sonny to the bedroom.

"You still want to?" Sonny asked.

"I'm not gonna let one bad uninvited guest ruin the time I'm having with you. Or the mood." Kevin continued getting undressed and then rid Sonny of his clothes. He slowly grinded on Sonny, who gripped the headboard.

"Oh, Kevin." Sonny growled as Kevin kissed his body down to his hips, then slowly took him in his mouth, Sonny bucking his hips as Kevin did wonders with his mouth over him. He went from gripping the headboard to gripping the sheets. He could feel the pressure building but then Kevin stopped, then when he climbed back up, Sonny turned them both over so Kevin was under Sonny and Sonny not only grinded against Kevin and reciprocated the oral, but then he pushed Kevin's legs up and he slowly entered Kevin.

"DOMINICK! MY GOD, Dominick! Yes!" Kevin exploded with chants of Sonny's real first over and over as Sonny thrusted deeper and slower. He threw his head back as finally, one last thrust lead to both coming and Kevin giving off a high-pitched scream of "Dominick yes" that would give him Laryngitis the next morning. Sated, though, they tucked into each other and Sonny kissed Kevin's forehead before wrapping a blanket over them both. Sonny was happy for the first time in months.


	7. The Reception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ken and Alejandro have their wedding and Kevin has an encounter with Raf before something more sinister happens to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Johnny Feist, Cragen, Logan and Stabler appear in this chapter.

Rafael ended up set up on a date with an ex-con of his own who he had to keep away from the booze just to keep an eye on Sonny and his doppelganger.

However, his date, courtesy of an old friend of Cragen's who was attending the ceremony, wouldn't shut up about his past history as a diamond store thief.

"And this one diamond store had a ring with a diamond the clarity of a bicycle reflector. You should've seen it. Just gorgeous." Johnny Feist said as he started drooling about his past heists.

"You're drooling." Raf said as he handed him a napkin.

"Yeah, sorry. When I was sent to rehab, I was trained like Pavlov's dog to stop thinking about heroin and crack by thinking of how better a high my previous diamond heists were." Johnny explained as he wiped the drool off his chin and the corners of his mouth.

"Charming." Raf said as he grimmaced. Meanwhile, the two grooms were at a different table with Fin, Cragen, Mike, Goren, Eames, Liv and Elliot, who were sharing stories.

"So what's the deal with the two Barbas and the two Carisis?" Elliot asked.

"The second Barba with Carisi is actually an ADA I was involved with after Joe died." Alex explained.

"And Cragen asked me to come with a newly sober Feist, the second Carisi, as you call him, to be Barba's plus one because he plans to confront Sonny or at least Kevin." Mike filled in.

"How do you even know this stuff." Elliot asked.

"It's a sordid history you need McCoy to fill in." Mike, Cragen and Liv said. Just then, the grooms cut the cake and the dance floor and buffet were open.

"Oh thank God. Logan rushed me out of rehab so fast, I didn't get to eat." Johnny instantly made a B line for the buffet. That was Rafael's chance.

"I hope you weren't worried about me asking you to dance." Sonny smiled as he wrapped his arms around Kevin's torso.

"Not at all, Dominick." Kevin giggled as they were lost in the moment. All too soon though, Raf once again interrupted.

"May I have this dance with Detective Carisi, former ADA Mulrooney?"

"Just this one. I'm gonna get something to drink from the bar." Kevin said as he left the two men alone.

"Liv set you up?" Sonny asked.

"A friend of Cragen's from a previous precinct." Raf said. "You and Kevin still growing strong?"

"That's none of your business." Sonny said curtly.

"Right." Raf took a deep sigh. "Look, Sonny. I'm sorry for attacking Kevin like I did. I guess finding out you were with someone else was a bit of a shock." Raf pleaded silently that Sonny'd accept his apology.

"It's okay, Raf. I understand how you felt. I was in pain for months after you left." Sonny revealed. "I don't think I'll ever see us the way I used to again because I have Kevin in my life, but it was amazing while it lasted." Just then, the dance was over and Raf decided to confront Kevin while Sonny got chatted up by Johnny, who was adding more liquid to the punch.

"Hey." Raf said as he approached Kevin.

"Oh hi. Raf, right? If you're here to apologize for your behavior, just know I already forgave." Kevin said.

"Thank you, but there's something else to it." Raf said.

"Shoot." Kevin said.

"I want you to know that Sonny is amazing. He's smart, loves to debate law with you and will make you laugh with corny dad jokes. He's also fragile and wears his heart on his sleave. Please take care of him. Don't break his heart and be gentle." Raf said as he walked away. Just like that, he gave up.

Later that evening, when everything died down and everyone was retiring from the reception, Kevin was waiting for Sonny, still being chatted up by Johnny, whose tux was drenched in drool by this point, Bo Burnham's two friends came up to him.

"Well well well, if it isn't Gabrielle Roth." One friend said.

"I'm not her anymore, guys." Kevin said politely as Sonny and Johnny finally came out.

"Let's show her how we treat those who kill our friends." The other friend said as they started tackling him.

"Hey! Let him go!" Sonny called out as they had already done enough damage.  
.....................................................................  
"They stabbed him in the stomach and kicked his head in at least once. He lost a lot of blood." Alex and Liv relayed to Sonny.

"We'll catch the bastards responsible, Sonny. I know who they are. Both Alex and I know." Robert assured.

"We just professed our love for each other last week." Sonny said.

"Mr. Carisi?" The doctor called. Sonny walked up and the doctor touched his shoulder. The look on his face and the fall of his head, followed by a shake of said head, was enough of an indicator to tell Sonny "He didn't make it." Sonny collapsed to the floor screaming no over and over until he couldn't make up any words. Cragen took him home as he nodded to Liv.  
...................................................................  
Kevin opened his eyes a few hours after the attack.

"Hey." Liv said sneaking in with scrubs. "We came as soon as we heard." Liv said.

"It was Bo Burnham's friends. They're still pissed I killed him. You gotta do me a favor, Liv. Put me in Witsec." Kevin said.

"Why?" Liv asked.

"I know you were learning up on me. You also know what I did to my own career. I don't want to jeopardize Dominick. You and I both know it's safest." Kevin gripped Liv's hand.

After setting the stage and Kevin calling Aria to say goodbye, they set him up with a new name.

"You're now called Alan Smithee." The WITSEC officer who sent Alex Cabbot off to a different place when she was sent death threats said. "Don't do anything that reminds people of your past life and listen to your handler at all times." Kevin nodded to everything that was being said to him.

"Feist has agreed to escort you on your journey to Hackensack. Home sweet home." Logan said.

"Don't worry, my rehab center's there. I can tell you about every diamond I ever gave them." Johnny said as the thought made him drool.

Whatever you do, don't tell Dominick. He'll try and leave. I don't want him to do that, he has too much to live for." Kevin said.

"We'll stall, it's time for you to go now." Liv said as a helicopter quickly moved Kevin and Johnny out to New Jersey.  
...................................................................  
A few weeks later, Kevin was buried and Sonny started to cry.

"Sonny? If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." Liv said. Sonny was silent until he said this.

"Liv, I was gonna marry him." Sonny took a big sob and heaved an inhale before exhaling. "I had the ring and everything. The day after the wedding was gonna be the day." Sonny bent forward and Liv caught him as she walked him away from what only she and a hand selected few knew to be an empty grave.


	8. Alone and crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny faces the aftermath of what had happened and goes back to square one.

Goren and Eames cleared out the interrogation room. They felt it was best, especially now that Sonny was lonely again. Liv kept a close eye, but Sonny wasn't taking anything.

After the funeral, he received some comfort from Aria, Amanda and others and was willing to take that, but everything else was not something he'd accept willingly. He was back to the way he was after Rafael had left the DA's office, so everyone felt for him.

"Sonny, why don't you take some time off?" Liv asked one afternoon after a heated discussion with Fin about taking findings Peter'd need to build a trial and Sonny told him to do it himself.

"You need me. We're understaffed." Sonny said, still fuming.

"You're still upset about Kevin. You didn't deserve to lose him." Liv said.

"Today was the day I was gonna propose." He sunk his head down and wept.

"Kevin gave testimony via video tape before he died. Peter came in and recorded a special video to you. He told me to give it to you." Liv said as she pulled out a disc case with "Dominick" written on the outside. He clutched it and put it in his coat pocket. He was given a personal day and went home to watch it.

"Dominick, if you're watching this, that means your ADA pulled through and got this to you. As you probably already know, I sustained enough injuries that I'm not able to survive. I'm fine with that. I want you to know the time I spent with you was the most amazing time I ever had and I don't want you to stay miserable for too long. Your boss promised me to make your former ADA promise to take care of you. It's not the best solution considering he led you to me to begin with. Uh. But I love you and I want you to transition from the pain he caused and the pain I'm gonna." He stopped to take a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Live a good life, find new love, be happy for me. Know I get to see my mom again." Sonny was swallowing hard now with tears in his eyes. "Goodbye, Dominick." Kevin shakily gave as the camera cut off and Sonny started to cry on his couch. The pain was even harder on that couch because it was the first item of furniture they first made love on. But he'd never get rid of it because of that fact.

Every night after, it was the same thing. He'd go to work, get into fights, get ready to go home, avoid Forlini's because Peter'd be in Raf's seat still and when he reached home, cry himself to sleep on the couch. He didn't talk at all.

It all finally came to a head when Liv invited Raf to lunch.

"Hey, Sonny. Would you like to come to lunch with us?" Liv offered.

"Us?" Sonny asked confused before he saw Rafael. "Oh." He realized.

"Hi, Sonny." Rafael said as he gave a small wave.

"I don't wanna repeat this." Sonny said as he got up to walk away.

"Repeat what?" Liv asked.

"That little stunt your friend, the first man I ever fell in love with, the man who made me realize I'm bisexual, came to my doorstep the night I last had sex with Kevin." Sonny groaned.

"Rafael." Liv scolded.

"I got bitchy. Realizing I was only pushing him away, I went back to Forlini's, got drunk and then decked myself in front of a mirror." Rafael said. "I'm here to make amends now."

"Oh now you wanna make amends. How about the night you left? You never told me you were leaving? I had to hear it from Amanda and Fin, who heard it from the Lieu. I had to hear that third hand. Or how about each night I was at Forlini's before Stone stole your seat? I asked for a tumbler of scotch and a beer in the hopes you'd come back and sit next to me, but you never came and then Stone sat in your seat. Or my personal favorite, when I was CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP AND I ONLY WENT ON ONE HOUR OF THE STUFF BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GONNA COME BACK FOR ME?" Sonny stormed out of the precinct as everyone looked on in horror. Raf stood there shocked at the pain Sonny unleashed on him about what he endured. He didn't know what to say.

Liv sternly punched his scapula. "Don't just stand there, you idiot. Go get him." She said as he ran off to find him. Though he was sure he'd gone home to sulk where he had been since Kevin's funeral. Either that or Kevin's gravesite was also a possibility.


	9. Making up for lost time is hard to do when half of the couple is livid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael realizes what he's done with a little help and takes some of the pain Sonny harbors away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible smut, KOLO!

He wasn't at Kevin's grave. It was surprising. Sonny was always fragile but that night Kevin first met Raf, he gave him strength. He just wondered what he'd done to make such a terrible mistake as he had that night he left without telling everyone but Liv. He looked for him everywhere else. Kevin was buried in Staten Island, so he checked with Sonny's family. Bella actually mistook him for Kevin and punched him for faking his death. Though that was true, Raf didn't know and they didn't know they looked alike.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Barba." Bella said as she was giving him a steak for his eye once everything got cleared up.

"No, Bella. It's fine. I deserved it." Rafael said.

"Sonny did say you hurt him pretty badly, but you should've been punched for that, not for Kevin." Bella said.

"I still accept it." Raf said as Bella shrugged. Once the drainage stopped and his eye was a bit better, he went to Forlini's.

There, he talked to Peter who was in his seat.

"Oh, sorry." Peter started as he moved to a different seat so Raf'd sit in his old seat. "You know, I miss Carisi's company. He was kinda dull sometimes. I think it was because he didn't have anything to say a lot of the time. Did he with you?" Peter asked.

"We used to talk all the time about law reviews. He loved talking about it. We'd debate, discuss, sometimes until morning." Raf smiled at the memory.

"I used to think he'd have a date who'd stood him up. But I guess he was just waiting for you to come back. I didn't realize how much the seat meant to him, I just now pieced it together tonight." Peter said. "Go to his place again, Barba. He needs you. He's drowning in a hypothetical ocean of pain and cold and I've suffered like that before. I had a girlfriend and she dumped me before moving away. My father didn't know what to say except life'll do that. That was the night he lost a witness in a key murder trial." With that, Peter patted Raf on the back and told him to head his advice.  
.................................................................  
Raf soon found himself outside Sonny's apartment and Sonny was doing his thing: Waiting for the clock to turn to the next day as he was crying for hours on end. Raf knocked and Sonny got up to answer.

"What happened to you?" Sonny asked.

"Bella thought I was Kevin for a second." Raf said as he walked in.

"Serves you right." Sonny said. He was still angry, a hint of venom in his wording.

"Sonny, I'm sorry I did what I did. I didn't realize I was hurting you the way I did." Rafael started.

"That sounds too rehearsed." Sonny said.

"I practiced every word I was gonna mean." Rafael said.

"Why don't I believe you?" Why do I constantly feel like I'm gonna be abandoned as soon as this conversation?" Sonny asked.

"What will it take?" Rafael asked in conjuncture.

"I shouldn't play this game." Sonny said as he turned to the door to throw Rafael out but then Rafael pulled him into his arms.

"LET GO OF ME!" Sonny screamed.

"I'm really sorry. I'm going to work my hardest to make things right between us, I promise this with all my heart. I promise, Sonny. I'm really sorry." Rafael cried as he started holding Sonny tighter in his arms, absorbing all the pain Sonny'd felt for months. Sonny felt the sincerity in Rafael's pleas to let him fix this relationship, this all began to overwhelm Sonny, who began to cry again, but then growled in frustration before kissing Rafael angrily. He moved them to a wall in the living room, Sonny practically slamming Rafael's back against it. Suddenly, a rainstorm started, as Sonny got started on Rafael's shirt. Rafael's breath quickened as Sonny kissed his neck downwards to his shoulder where he gave him a hickey.

"That's for not telling me." He said as a bolt of lightning flashed, making the power go out. He then moved to Raf's pants, unbuckling his belt before he pulled down his own jeans. Rafael tried to reach up to touch Sonny's cheek but he wasn't having it.

"No touching. That's for all those nights at Forlini's I sat alone until Peter stole your seat." Sonny growled as he pulled off his sweater. Once both men became naked, Sonny picked up and carried Raf into his room and set him on the bed before teasing. Somehow remembering his rule that Sonny established, Rafael gripped the headboard as Sonny continued his teasing. He used teeth a little bit. Once he'd finished, Raf was hard but wasn't allowed to do anything about it.

"Sonny." Rafael said as Sonny climbed up his body.

"You made me feel something more, you know that?" Sonny said as he took Raf's hand and put it on where his heart is. "That's my heart racing. You did this to me, Raf. Kevin did it too, but you did it first." Sonny said as he felt Rafael's heart beating as fast as his. "Yours is too." Sonny slightly collapsed as he crashed his lips onto Raf's and then slowly grinded against him before preparing to enter him, not caring about protection at this point. Rafael groaned as Sonny made anal penile contact with him. Slowly, he pumped in and out over and over. The sensation was a medium in itself, their pleasure being the brushstrokes and their bodies clinging to each other, bruising each other, being the canvases. Rafael could almost smell the blood being drawn from his back as Sonny dug his nails.

"That's for being the reason I cried myself to sleep for weeks until Kevin entered my life." Sonny whispered in his ear as he climaxed shortly after. Rafael, still hard, fell hard on the bed as Sonny fell also. Knowing Raf still had a hard shaft, he got back up and whispered in the older man's ear "You can touch me now.". Raf didn't waste any time. He slowly entered Sonny and did his best to pleasure him the same way. It lasted all night. Sonny's groans of pleasure, Rafael grunting, their kissing, the pleasure from their conquesting one another. This was anything but though. This was something built up between them from the beginning. In the end, Sonny called in sick for the first time in months and they slept in when they'd finished.

"I love you and I'm an idiot for not speaking up sooner." Rafael said as he kissed Sonny on the forehead and then the lips.

"I love you and I wish I got to tell you sooner." Sonny said after.

"We can talk about it later, let's just go to sleep." Rafael said as he and Sonny kissed one more time and fell asleep. Both smiling as they did so.


	10. A better occasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny waits for someone at the bar. Peter watches with a soft smile when he sees who it is from afar.

Sonny came into Forlini's a few months later. Peter began understanding where everyone came from and everything was quasi-normal. Except Peter decided to treat Sonny after Kevin's death and gave him a year's worth of beer and scotch on his tab. Sonny smiled as he sat down knowing he wouldn't be disturbed with the old tradition he had every night after Raf left until Peter started sitting there. Except he wasn't gonna sit there again.

Sonny sat next to the seat that was reserved with a single glass of scotch as he drank his beer and paid no attention to the sights and sounds around him. He watched TV and stared at the clock as if he were waiting for someone. Peter decided to stay behind to watch what was happening. He stayed and stayed until it was almost midnight. He had to watch from the window looking in.

After an hour, Sonny sighed and reached for the scotch until a body and it's attached hand latched on after. Sonny smiled in surprise as Peter's eyes bugged out.

"He finally came back for him." Peter quietly said to himself, still looking on as he continued watching the two men as they began to debate the new law review that just came out that morning. They all smiled.

The end


End file.
